I was at the Baltimore game of which you speak and although that does not make me an authority on “worsts” I agree that this is in fact worse. The entirety of the Baltimore game was just wild and while that doesn’t make it ok that we lost it wasn’t entirely unexpected. Plus, Polanco put us ahead, we got screwed by the umps.

This is worse because Jones beat us. We had the divsional leader and he blew it. At least with Baltimore you can say “way to go little guy” when they win. With these guys you have to watch Nick Swisher and the rest of the bleached beard morons hi-five each other and have macho-seizures in the dugout. I hate that team and I don’t care all that much for Todd Jones anymore either.

Continuing to send Jones out there in the 9th is foolish and if it happens it’s the result of poor management. Zumaya may not be “ready” to do it, but I’d rather watch him learn how to adjust to the role than watch Jones tear my heart out and let Jermaine Dye beat it with a baseball bat.

it’s 3 o’clock on Saturday and I’m still pissed about it

I am not interested in hearing his save percentage quoted as evidence that Jones is a good closer. Anyone who takes a cursory glance at the save rule quickly realizes that it’s basically a meaningless stat that produces very high rates of success.

The notion that a pitcher who is otherwise terrible is imbued with special powers that make him a good pitcher in the 9th (or vice-versa) is, well, retarded. Todd Jones isn’t a bad closer; he’s a bad pitcher. Consider the evidence:

ERA 4.99
Opponent batting average .293
Strikeout rate 2.95 batters/9IP

Those are all terrible stats, but the last one in particular is really something. That K rate puts Jonesy last of the 183 AL pitchers that have thrown 20 or more innings this season. Yes, worse than Eddie Bonine. What this means is that he is unable to fool the hitter. Ever. Jones has commented that he gets the job done with smoke, mirrors and luck. He’s correct; luck is exactly how he was getting it done. Luck, however – and try and wrap your brain around this concept – is not a skill and therefore is not something that is consistently repeatable. Luck is finding a wallet on a street on a Friday afternoon, but Jones would have you believe he’ll be back next week at the same time to find another one. AL hitters’ bats know better, and continuing to use 59 in the highest leverage game situations is a luxury the Tigers simply cannot afford.

The question of who to use in Jones’s stead is simply answered: Anyone. Sure Joel Zumaya has been wild. So has Fernando Rodney. Aquilino Lopez has trouble with lefties. All of these guys have warts, and all of them are much, much better options than Todd Jones.