Okay, so I just became aware of Bronson Sardinha's middle name, which is Kiheimahanaomauiakeo and is Hawaiian for "protector of Kihei, Maui". At twenty letters, it's so long that doesn't even fit on his police report (and they appear to have misspelled the part they did fit on).

Naturally, after discovering this, I was excited to find out what his brother Dane's middle name was. Consulting Baseball Reference, I discovered it listed, mysteriously, as "K.A.A." Clearly that probably stands for three long Hawaiian words you (or Kiheimahanaomauiakeo-aholics Anonymous), and I'm quite excited to discover what they are, but all I've been able to find is that the K apparently stands for "Kealoha". Do any of you know the rest?