Here is my line-up!
by 13194013 on Jan 4, 2012 4:20 PM EST
Email
PrintI am going to be honest: I sometimes fantasize about just what sort of line-ups the Detroit Tigers could field in the 2012 baseball season.
While I love the Tigers, the offseason can become dreadfully boring and sometimes you need a bit of spice to recapture the magic (if you know what I mean).
Everyone becomes a tad bored of their favorite team every now and again. Sometimes that team responds by getting new uniforms. Usually that doesn't work and it leads to a sort of cold war with a longing for the almost assuredly better uniform/logo that was abandoned in a misguided attempt to restore that spark. Sometimes the team brings in someone new to see if that'll get the engines running again. Unfortunately the team never gets that sexy (use strike through) sensational player you've had your eye on for quite some time.
This gives rise to the need to take matters into your own hands (metaphorically speaking). Going into your private abode and to your special area to find the information about that one player (or players if you're more aggressive/open minded/deluded) that just gets you all worked up; the kind of player you know you'll never be disappointed by and always filled with excitement when you watch them hurl/squat/stroke one into center.
With that in mind, I have decided to post a place where these fantasies can be written about - right here, out in the open! Don't be afraid; I'll start!
MY DREAM DETROIT TIGERS LINE UP OF TODAY'S PLAYERS THAT CAN TOTALLY HAPPEN... REALLY!
CF: Matt Kemp
He's sassy and the Dodgers are broke. Buy them a hot meal and they will give it up (it being a player and nothing more).
RF: Ichiro Suzuki
He's older but still mysterious and still quite capable of getting it up (meaning his batting average).
LF: Brennan Boesch
May as well stick him here; I hear he's curious.
1B: Miguel Cabrera
Solid.
2B: Robinson Cano
He's the next Purple Lipped Star (he also defeated the Detroit Tigers (single handedly) in the 2011 Divisional Series).
3B: Evan Longoria
A team man; he puts the whole before him.
SS: Troy Tulowitzki
His name is fun to say!
SP: Justin Verlander
He's bringing the HEAT~!
SP: Doug Fister
He's bringing astonishment at seeing runs scored.
SP: Max Scherzer
He's bringing a brown eye... and a blue eye!
SP: Rick Porcello
He's here because I don't think the pitching staff is all that bad plus he fits the ingenue role!
SP: Felix Hernandez
He's available for nothing, according to EVERYONE; he's also a King!
RP: Phil Coke
Coke is it!
RP: No one cares about relief pitchers!
So there you have it; the super stud Tigers line up for 2012 that will obviously happen! Show me your line ups and we can have coffee or something while we talk about the super fantastic players the Tigers will bring in to shore up their World Series chances!
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Bless You Boys writing staff.
22 comments
|
4 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
A Rosterbation Honeypot
I’m sure somebody still wants Luke French and Scott Sizemore. This is your chance.
this team lacks grittyness
who’s going to bunt people ahead on the basepaths, and break up double plays, and dive for things? Needs more Eckstien and Jack Wilson
"I'm a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food" - Ron Swanson
by rock n rye on Jan 4, 2012 5:09 PM EST via Android app reply actions
ALL THE WILSONS!
"I'm a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food" - Ron Swanson
by rock n rye on Jan 4, 2012 10:31 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
CLAYTON KERSHAW
Him back-to-back with Verlander? fans self
Random nonsense at @Baroque97
"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time." --Sir Winston Churchill (1874 – 1965)
How Detroit Can Aquire Your Lineup:
Trade Delmon Young, Don Kelly, and Cash for Matt Kemp
Dodgers need cheap alternatives for Matt Kemp and money, a win-win for both sides
Trade Casper Wells, Fu-Te Ni, and Ryan Perry for Ichiro Suzuki + Cash
Suzuki is old but still serviceable so Detroit will be happy to pay the steep price. Wells and Perry are both young and full of potential. Wells’s power will easily withstand the transition to SAFCO Field. Perry to balance the deal. He is also young, cheap and full of potential.
Trade Max Scherzer and a PBTNL for Robinson Cano
Yankees need a #2 Starter. After the deal extend Cano at 6 years and 72 million through 2019. 25K bonus each year for All-Star game appearances.
Three Way Trade between Detroit, Tampa Bay, and New York: Jacob Turner and Casey Crosby and PBTNL to Tampa Bay for Longoria, Miguel Montero and Scherzer after Tampa Bay trades Reid Brignac and PBTNL to Washington for Adam LaRoche and Ivan Rodriguez. Tampa Bay then trades Adam LaRoche, Ivan Rodriguez, B.J. Upton, Matt Joyce, and cash to New York for Scherzer and Miguel Montero. Detroit sends PBTNL to New York for cash and PBTNL to complete the process.
Acquire Tulowitzki as a waiver claim in August
He will be just what we need to lock up the best record in the AL. Give them Raburn or something. They will just be happy to see his contract gone.
Since Verlander and Hernandez have identical contracts, Seattle will have no problem trading the two back and forth all year. Detroit will just have to make sure that they have each pitcher when it is their normal day to pitch, so they get all the starts for both of them.
Quoting Kurt....
Collin Balester acquired by Tigers for Ryan Perry
by Kurt Mensching on Dec 9, 2011 2:59 PM PST
The Tigers acquired 25-year-old right-handed pitcher Collin Balester from the Washington Nationals in exchange for RHP Ryan Perry. The general response of “Who?” is appropriate here, because that’s exactly what I said, too.
Didn't realize Fu-Te Ni was still in the organization when I said this.
The joke was meant to be trading sever players who were no longer in the Tiger’s Organization. Unfortunately a lack of research on my part made it a bit harder to understand. Thought Fu-Te Ni was released last offseason.
This team would lose over 100 games
No catcher. Gonna seriously increase our pitchers’ WHIPs.
Justin can now let the fungus grow back on his shower shoes.
by Singledigit on Jan 4, 2012 9:49 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
plus the umpire is gonna get awfully pissed off if he keeps getting nutshotted by a Verlander fastball
by Kurt Mensching on Jan 5, 2012 9:25 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
was that a curve or fastball that got the last ump?
still remember Verlander laughing about it. laughing about it myself, now.
"You spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it was the other way around..." Jim Bouton
by JimWalewander on Jan 5, 2012 12:27 PM EST up reply actions
August 24, 1951. St Louis Browns. Bill Veeck
The Browns were only 39 or so games behind the Philly A’s for first place, and Veeck was certain a final push would secure the pennant.
In another brainstorm(this was, after all … only 5 days after famous Eddy Gaedel set the MLB record for career OBP), Veeck decided to allow Browns fans to choose the lineup. If they sent in a postcard with their choices, in return they’d get a ticket entitling them to a seat behind the duggout. Upon arrival at the balpark, they received a sign with “yes” on one side and “no” on the other. Decisions like changing the pitcher, attempted steals, infield depth, and sacrifices were given over to the fans who held up their placards. Somebody counted up the responses, and the Borwns played accordingly.
The fans lineup, the fans made the decisions.
The Browns won that day, 5-3.
This thread channels Bill Veeck. “Let the fans decide!” I agree … Dumbrowski/Leyland, step aside!
Justin can now let the fungus grow back on his shower shoes.
Machismo is okay
But I’ve read that machoism isn’t.
Justin can now let the fungus grow back on his shower shoes.
This is the best lightly-pornographic Tigers fantasy roster description I have ever seen.
Needless to say, I enjoyed it very much. I think there is more material to be mined with Ichiro, but bravo all around.
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
Related FanPosts on Bless You Boys
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Recommended FanPosts
Recent FanPosts
In Association With
Big League Stew - MLB - Yahoo! Sports
- College player makes impossible over the fence catch to save tournament game (Video)
- Security!: Camden Yards guard collides with Royals’ Mike Moustakas
- The Juice: Nelson Cruz matches career high eight RBIs, Pujols stays hot in Seattle
- Benches clear at Fenway as Red Sox-Rays rivalry heats up
- Keeping good company: Albert Pujols becomes fourth-youngest player to hit 450 home runs
