Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT REAL! If you are unaware of what the SB Nation Mock GM Winter Meetings are, read this.
The Fake Detroit Tigers made a couple of big roster moves today, acquiring Fake J.J. Hardy from the Fake Baltimore Orioles in exchange for Fake Andy Dirks and fake prospects Tyler Collins and Andy Oliver. The Tigers also dealt Fake Jhonny Peralta to the Fake Arizona Diamondbacks for Fake Gerardo Parra and Fake John McDonald.
Fake GM Rob Rogacki had this to say:
"One of our biggest goals of this offseason was to secure our middle infield beyond the 2013 season. While we were definitely looking to offer Fake Peralta a contract extension, the opportunity to acquire Fake J.J. Hardy came up very suddenly. We acted quickly and were able to find a team that was willing to give us fair value in return for Fake Peralta.
We are very sad to see Fake Dirks go, as we considered him to be a key part of our organization's future, but we are enamored with what Fake Gerardo Parra brings to the table. He will be our starting left fielder next season. We wish both Fake Andy and Fake Jhonny, as well as Fake Tyler and Other Fake Andy all the best with their new clubs."
The Fake Tigers missed out on a couple key free agents in Fake Anibal Sanchez and Fake Torii Hunter, both of whom signed lucrative contracts with the Fake Milwaukee Brewers and Fake Seattle Mariners, respectively.