Two thousand eleven was a pretty good season
Beating the Yankees, the primary reason
Making the playoffs and winning a series
You’d think that the winter would be not so dreary

Alas, it’s not true, when the season is done
The winter months just aren’t much fun
No matter what happened the season before
The off season is just an incredible bore

They babble about moves that are ever so crucial
And Tigerdog spewing the usual minutiae
About salaries and contracts, and the new CBA
We don’t give a shit about that, anyway

There’s talk of free agents and trades that don’t happen
The players we’d like, cuz our old ones are crappin
We hoped for an upgrade at second or third
We hoped, and we waited, but nary a word

They talked of platoons that would just make you cringe
With Ramon and Raburn, and Kelly and Inge
Dombrowski sat tight, it just wasn’t funny
All that we got was Dotel and G money

Enough of this nonsense, upgrades or not
We’ll just have to go with the players we’ve got
The winter’s too long, and the season’s too short
I can’t wait til pitchers and catchers report!

I couldn’t remember a winter so boring
They put us to sleep, and I just started snoring
There was nothing to cheer for, nothing to like
The best thing that happened was the NBA strike

Just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse
Victor went down, it must be a curse
Who would bat fifth, and who would bat third?
And don’t tell me Delmon, this is absurd!

There are holes in the lineup, and in the rotation
We could be the laughing stock of the nation!
We couldn’t get Oswalt, and didn’t get Gio
We couldn’t pry Garza away from Theo

The rumors continued, just more of the same
We’ve got to get someone, we just don’t know his name
Looking for something to write on the blog
Holy crap, we signed Prince freakin Fielder!

I couldn’t believe it, I started to faint
Dombrowski’s a genius, and Ilitch a saint
All of a sudden, things aren’t so dreary
The Tigers could possibly win the World Series!

Blogging was fun once we got the big word
I could write something about Miggy at third
All winter long, we had waited for news
Now, we got hundreds and thousands of page views

Filled with excitement, we now have a reason
Still six weeks away from the start of the season
Just a few more articles about rosterbation
Doing profiles on prospects to complete the rotation

It’s finally over, the winter must yield
And time for the Tigers to take the field
Let baseball begin, and let us exhort
Pitchers and Catchers, it’s time to report!