For those that are unaware, the Washington Nationals entertain their home fans with an event called the Presidents Race in the middle of the fourth inning. The race is a spin-off of the Milwaukee Brewers' racing sausages, which I believe was the first of its kind. The Nationals' version has taken on a life of its own, especially as Teddy Roosevelt piled up the losses. He finally broke the losing streak last season, winning a couple of races after the National clinched the NL East.
Anyway, here's the rundown from tonight's race.
Apparently they have made this a relay race, but neglected to give Teddy a partner. This is all by design, as nobody would care about the race anymore if Teddy were handing off his baton -- or whatever those things are -- to some old guy that I learned about in seventh grade then promptly forgot a year later. Unfortunately, Teddy faceplants, taking himself out of the running.
Truly, this was a poor effort from our nation's 26th president. If he can take a bullet while giving a speech, surely he can run a hundred yards. Apparently he was winded from the racing he did in Pittsburgh last weekend.
Here, we can see that George Washington is a lying cheat. He beats a svelte-looking William Howard Taft -- who has lost his baton thing -- and waltzes in for a victory. Sure, he might be our first president, but I would expect a man of such distinction to act with much more moral fiber than that.
Rod Allen was unapologetic for his choice to root for George Washington, but Mario Impemba was less than impressed with the high-stepping as he crossed the finish line.