Things in my apartment that are shaped like Bartolo Colon (a.k.a. Game 134 Preview: Athletics at Tigers)

Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

Max Scherzer will go for his 20th win of the season today against my couch cushion... err, I mean, Bartolo Colon.

The last three games have been so bad that I'm resorting to drastic measures to preserve my sanity* when writing yet another preview about the Oakland A's. So, instead of giving you a quick rundown of Colon's season and a reason why the Tigers will actually start to hit today despite him giving everyone the business all season long, I took some pictures of stuff in my apartment that slightly resembles the rotund figure of Colon. Please reference the picture above if needed.

*You can argue that I've lost said sanity by writing a post of this nature and I probably won't correct you. I'm just glad my roommate didn't walk in to me taking a picture of a can of chick peas last night.

This couch cushion.

Img_0031_medium

This pot.

Img_0018_medium

This soap (pitching from the stretch).

Img_0022_medium

This refrigerator, which is probably way more empty.

Img_0029_medium

This tub of cream cheese.

Img_0017_medium

A roll of toilet paper (two-ply, naturally).

Img_0021_medium

This loaf of bread. WARNING: the real Bartolo Colon may contain seeds.

Img_0019_medium

This can of chick peas.

Img_0030_medium

Laundry detergent. It would be the nice if the A's used 1/3 less Colon today.

Img_0023_medium

This pile of laundry.

Img_0027_medium

This jar of coins, filled with the entire Houston Astros payroll.

Img_0025_medium

My roommate's suitcase.

Img_0024_medium

Last but not least, a big h/t goes to Liz Roscher of The Good Phight, SB Nation's Phillies blog, for some inspiration on Twitter last night. Also, Sullivan.

Prediction

Max Scherzer improves his record to 20-1 today.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Bless You Boys

You must be a member of Bless You Boys to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bless You Boys. You should read them.

Join Bless You Boys

You must be a member of Bless You Boys to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bless You Boys. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker