Baseball is a great game. Few things in life are more enjoyable than going to a ball game, kicking back with your beverage, and enjoying the game. But there are certain things that happen at ball games that are just plain dumb. I mean foolish, annoying, and should be punished. Here are ten of them, Letterman style.
10. Booing a throw to first base. Do you boo when an opposing player gets a base hit, or throws out a runner? Then why boo when their pitcher just wants to keep the runner close? It's part of the game. Deal with it! Penalty: one shot.
9. Throwing a home run ball back on the field. That one works real well for the Cubs, doesn't it? So you want to imitate Cubs fans. They're just going to give the ball to another fan, so just keep it. Besides, anyone throwing objects onto the field should be ejected, arrested, and persecuted.
8. Changing your guess in the attendance quiz. They show four numbers, and you pick one. Your number is taken off the board, so you pick another one. And if that's right, you act like you had the right answer. As if it even mattered. You probably root for a donut to outrun a cup of coffee too, don't you? Penalty: two shots.
7. The wave. Look, it's not the 80's any more. Sit your ass down and watch the game. Penalty: Serve 90 days as Rob's personal pitch counter.
6. Booing a player on your own team. Give the guy a break, he's doing the best he can. Note that booing the manager for putting a lousy player in the game is perfectly okay. Penalty: dinner at Taco bell with Jim Leyland.
5. Waving one of those stupid foam fingers. Self explanatory. StOOpid with two O's. Penalty: a single digit salute.
4. Leaving early. If it's a close game, what dig you go to the game for? If not, just stay and beat the traffic.
3. Yelling "balk" on a pick off throw to second base. It's not a balk, you dunce! Don't yell out the rules if you don't know them. Penalty: go sit in the nose bleeds.
2. Rooting for the Yankees. If you don't come from New York, just root for your home team. Jumping on the bandwagon by rooting for the team with the most money is pretentious and makes you a phony, not cool. If you come from New York, go back there! Penalty: a subway ride through Central Park after the game.
1. Interfering with a fair ball in play. This is the worst of all, because it may impact the outcome of the game. If you can't tell the difference between a fair ball and a foul ball, then you shouldn't be allowed to sit in the front row. Penalty: shot.
What are the most annoying things that fans do at a ball game that bug you the most?