There once was a ballplayer from Pitt
He stayed humble, strikeout or hit.
He tried his best,
Didn't complain on trips West.
And charmed reporters with his wit.
The Tigers' guy played all in a stitch.
He handled second, left, or could pitch!
His coaches adored him,
The bench never bored him,
His career went on without a hitch.
Fans love this ballplayer, yes, it's true.
He's a favorite of many, maybe even you.
I'm not in that class
Due to the fact that alas
His average was two twenty-two.
Now Dirks is gone, he hurt his back.
In left field, there's a dire lack.
It's the ballplayers time
To be worth all those dimes
That into him the Tigers pack.
The season is approaching soon
The player will be ready next Monday afternoon
But we won't see him
Batting third on Jim's whim
Unless Ausmus is a loon.
We can sit and wonder away
If he can hit starting more than on Sunday.
But this I tell you
Of homers he'll have two
Because we see Masterson twice by May.