The Detroit Tigers have announced that they have acquired Outfielder Giancarlo Stanton and Right Handed Pitcher Jose Fernandez from the Miami Marlins in exchange for Mike Maroth, Mike Rabelo, Brandon Inge, Jim Leyland, and Neifi Perez.
When asked how he was able to acquire two young superstars for former players and a couple of coaches / managers, Dave Dombrowski responded "Dude. It's Loria. As long as he's making a profit from revenue sharing, he doesn't give a [expletive] how the team does. Besides, Maroth took a page from Nate Robertson and is throwing side-arm now. Rabelo, Inge, and Perez are just happy to be somewhat relevant again - it's not like the Fort Worth Cats or Grand Prairie Air Hogs were even interested in Brandon Inge, and now he's a Marlin."
Jim Leyland was quoted as saying "The Marlins? Aw, crap, not again."
When asked for comment, Brandon Inge was quoted as saying "Happy April Fool's Day, everyone".