Al Alburquerque - promise to pay the receiving team extra $ to cover cost of lettering on uniform.
Joba Chamberlain - throw in sled team and promote remake of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"
Phil Coke - uh, no.
Blaine Hardy - boys, this is a mystery.
Ian Krol - one more L and he doubles as on-air personality
Joe Nathan - uh, no way.
Anibal Sanchez- anyone will trade for price-controlled ICE CREAM!
Max Scherzer - just add queso; Max is already a chip...
Chad Smith - change his name, otherwise, competing GMs just keep saying "Who?"
Drew Smyly Have the guts to promote Robbie Ray to the rotation AND keep the "new" Porcello
Justin Verlander - Mr. I has to write a big number on a big check
Alex Avila - will require deception and trickery on the trade physical.
Bryan Holaday - everyone wants a holiday
Miguel Cabrera - 1) uh, who else owes a superstar $300 million? 2) Call them.
Nick Castellanos - move Miggy to 3B; VMart to 1B; Hunter to DH; J Mart to RF; Dirks/Davis platoon LF. Buy Kleenex for those BYBers who love Nick.
Eugenio Suarez - value demonstrated; ready to package.
Rajai Davis - hmmm. who needs a speedy right handed outfielder with little power and average defenese? I thought so.
Torii Hunter - Already moved him to DH above. Anyone else need an aging DH?
Austin Jackson - cost controlled defense; do not offer to Olympic diving team.
Don Kelly- point out to receiving GM that DK will improve their community service image with "Deeds".
J.D. Martinez - Houston, you have a problem..
Victor Martinez - had a lot more value last week.. suddenly looks human.