Valentine's Day is this weekend, and we're guessing you need that perfect message to pass along to that significant other in your life. We're here to help, but not really. Not at all. Truth be told, we're very much ashamed that we ever thought this would be a good idea.
I mean, really, there's not a lot left to say except that we're so very, very sorry for this.
Just ... here you go.
Get it? Because he throws a really nasty curveball and ... ok, moving on.
Go ahead and make that ridiculous bullpen move. Good looks go a long way.
HAHAHAHA! It's funny because we all thought he'd be hitting better by this point.
(You should probably stop reading now.)
You needed more boner jokes in your life, just admit it.
It really only gets more aggressively suggestive from here on out. You've been warned.
Please don't actually send that to anyone you genuinely care about.
Do not make a "pop time" joke here do not make a "pop time" joke here do not make a "pop time" joke here do not make a "pop time" joke here do not make a "pop time" joke here do not ...
DON'T MAKE THAT FACE WE WARNED YOU FAIR AND SQUARE
Ok, one more.
There is only one Miggy. Understood?
Happy Valentine's Day!