Do I have to write another woeful recap about a terrible Tigers pitching performance?  I think we're tapped out on those.  And I'm sure you don't want to read another one.  Unless I could find another photo of a train wreck, explosion, or sinkhole. 

So tonight, we'll try something different.  This recap is dedicated to bowing before our Baltimore overlords.  What Melvin Mora and Luke Scott have done to Detroit Tigers pitching this season is akin to barbarians destroying a village.  I can imagine Dave Tremblay gathering his team in the clubhouse after today's game, asking them to form a circle around him, Mora, and Scott, and asking his two sluggers the following question:

"What is best in life?"

To which Mora and Scott would respond in unison, "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of the women." 

Here's some lamenting for you: Today, Mora went 5-for-6 with two homers and six RBIs.  In this three-game series, he hit 10-for-13 for a .769 average.  He slammed three home runs, and drove in 10 runs.  In seven total games against Detroit this season, Mora has a .572 average (16-for-28) with six homers and 17 RBIs. 

Scott wasn't quite as dominating in this series, today's 3-for-6, 2 homer, four RBI performance notwithstanding.  But in his seven games against the Tigers this year, he's batted .542 (13-for-24) with five home runs and 12 RBIs. 

These two guys are stone cold Tiger killers.  If you saw two gentlemen walking toward a team bus with fresh tiger skins draped over their shoulders, wearing the heads of those beasts as hats, chances are it was Mora and Scott.  Wearing fur in 80-plus degree weather.  That's how fearsome this pair was.

For the second time in three days, the Orioles' lineup hung double-digit runs on a Tigers pitching staff that may as well be throwing the ball underhanded.  And we can't even blame today's 16 runs on favorite BYB whipping boy, Nate Robertson.  No, Zach Miner had easily his worst start of the season, one in which he couldn't even make it out of the second inning.  In just 1 1/3 innings, Miner virtually turned to quivering jello on the mound, giving up five runs, six hits, and four walks.  Coming into today, Miner had only given up seven earned runs and walks in five starts. 

But Baltimore scored 11 more runs, and we have the bullpen to thank for that.  Casey Fossum: four runs.  Aquilino Lopez: four runs.  Francis Beltran: three runs.  Fail, fail, fail.  These guys weren't just gas cans today; they were tanker trucks full of petrol.  And the Orioles treated that tanker truck like the 18-wheeler Batman flipped tail-over-head in The Dark Knight.  And he needed a bad-ass motor scooter with grappling hooks and cables to pull that off.  The Orioles just needed sticks of maple and ash.  And, of course, that generous Tigers pitching serving the baseball up on a tee. 

What a total traveshamockery.  Detroit needs the Tigers to go on a seven-day road trip to get the smell of this homestand out of Comerica Park.

Roll Call

We had an active GameThread, but unfortunately, it sort of turned into accident gawking right away.  By the end, men and women were trading cheesecake and beefcake photos.  Those that remained, anyway.  This is what we've been reduced to.

Thanks to wepri31, rook34, densogirl, ThaWalrus9, Juskimo, explosivo2k2, Rogo, Boney, spotstarters, gf206, and Wingz for viewing the carnage.

This baseball thing isn't that complicated a game, is it?  (Except when I try to explain it to someone who doesn't watch, I suppose.)  Keep the other team from scoring, smack a couple of balls out of the park, and it all falls into place for a win.

Unfortunately, it hasn't been that easy for the Detroit Tigers this weekend in Baltimore.  Last night, Nate Robertson seemed perfectly willing to let the O's score 20 runs.  Thankfully, Jim Leyland took him out when he only gave up seven.

This afternoon, however, the Tigers got the kind of pitching that will win almost any ballgame.  Justin Verlander was dominant, shutting down an Orioles lineup that seemed to hit everything out of the park in the previous three games.  The home team only managed three hits, even though one of them by Luke Scott (who I really don't ever want to see again) drove in a run and gave Baltimore a brief lead. 

But this series was all about who could hit the long ball.  And today, Magglio Ordonez and Marcus Thames made sure Detroit got the chicks' attention.  Maggs' solo shot tied the game in the third inning, and The Hammer put the Tigers on top for good with his own homer that was almost called a foul ball. 

And that brings me to one big question I have about this series: Why does Brian Runge hate the Detroit Tigers?

Last night, he absolutely murdered a call, ruling Placido Polanco out at home when his foot plainly crossed the plate before he was tagged.  Cameras from yards away clearly detailed what happened right in front of Runge's face.  That cost Detroit a run and a possible win, and today, Runge was ready to do the same thing, ruling Thames' drive to left a foul ball.  Fortunately, someone with a better angle (or better eyesight) overturned the call and correctly ruled Thames' ball inside the foul pole. 

Even better, the Tigers scored three more runs, so it didn't really matter.

Roll Call

I missed all the GameThread fun (and German talk) today, largely because I was blinded by those orange jerseys the Orioles subjected us to.  If I blink hard and then look at a blank wall, I can still see those monstrosities.

Hopefully, wepri31, MSU4LIF, rock n rye, Germantiger, HavocRox, dettigionswings'stons, Zappatista, ashmark, wingz, and spotstarters escaped with minimal eye damage. 

Last night, it was the Tigers who created a storm with their bats.  Tonight, all the thunder and lightning came from the Orioles.

When Baltimore wasn't swinging and missing at what Armando Galarraga was throwing, they were knocking most of his stuff all over the field.  That includes the very top of the left field foul pole, which Melvin Mora's deep drive bounced off of for a two-run homer in the sixth inning.  Also taking Galarraga out of the park were Aubrey Huff (who almost had one off Todd Jones last night) and Luke Scott.  Even Kevin Millar hit a drive to left that was caught at the fence by Matt Joyce.

But Scott wasn't done with the long ball after his shot in the second inning.  In the eighth, he put the game out of reach with a two-run blast off Bobby Seay.  And Seay didn't exactly keep Scott guessing as he threw six straight breaking balls (MLB.com Gameday had them all as curveballs).  On the FSN Detroit telecast, Rod Allen pointed out that Pudge Rodriguez was apparently calling for a fastball on that home run pitch, but Seay shook him off.  How'd that work out? 

Unlike last night, the Tigers' offense couldn't bail the starting pitching out.  Detroit did bang out 14 hits, creating plenty of opportunities to score, but shot themselves in the foot by grounding into three double plays (two of them by Magglio Ordonez).

This knocks Detroit back to .500, a level they just barely seem to get their nose above.  They'll have to get better pitching to create some breathing room.