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Like Stripes on the Fur Coat of a Tiger - 03/28

● Big Al is posting his Tigers preview at The Wayne Fontes Experience. Part 1 looks at the pitching staff, while Part 2 features the catchers and infielders, and includes a heated exchange between Sean Casey supporters and detractors. Fiery!

● At Mack Avenue Tigers, Kurt is getting ready to post his Tigers preview, as well, and that has me thinking I should really get to mine. But what's the rush? How many days do I have until Opening Day? Wait - what? Say that again? Four days? $#!+, I'd better get on that.

This is starting to remind me of my senior year of high school, when various friends were beginning to tell me where they'd been accepted to college. Then they'd ask me where I was going, and I had to sheepishly admit I hadn't even applied yet. Good times, man. Four more years 'til my 20th reunion, too. You know, I ate something with prune in it last week. Sweet sassy molassy, I'm getting old.

● Aw, c'mon, man. The Mickey Tettleton Memorial Overpass is doing their Tigers preview, too. Okay, I get it. I have, like, five episodes of Bones that I'd like to catch up on, but those will stay on the DVR, I suppose.

● My bitter arch-enemy Samela, known at Fisher Stadium as "Sam, Sam with the Wonder Cam," transcribed a plausibly actual conversation between herself and the recently demoted Chris Shelton at Roar of the Tigers.

● On Monday, Orioles President Jim Duquette complained to Peter Schmuck of the Baltimore Sun about his team's travel schedule in April, calling it "the worst travel schedule in all of baseball." So's Buster Olney did some research and found that the Orioles have 13 road games in the opening month of the season. And 17 of their games in April are against teams that were over .500 last season.

How many road games do the Tigers have in April? 14. How many against teams over .500 last year? 17.

Sure, the Orioles have to play their first six games on the road. But Detroit has a 10-game road trip after their first homestand. So, like, whatevs, Duquette.

The Daily Fungo, TigerBlog, From the CoPa, and Talking Tigers each had something to say about former Tiger Ugueth Urbina being sentenced to 14 years in a Venezuelan prison today. This is pretty serious stuff, so I think I'm going to take the high road on this story. After I ask you the following question: What do Ugueth Urbina and a mathematics book have in common? Both have a lot of problems inside.

Do you think if Pudge Rodriguez ever visits Urbina in prison, they'll touch hands on their respective sides of the glass while they speak over the phone? I don't know what would make me ask such a question. It's been a long day, I guess.

Do you also think I should make sure I'm living at a different address 14 years from now?

I also want you to know that I was trying really, really hard not to write anything about former Tigers this week, you guys.

● Finally, best wishes to former Tigers infield (and third base) coach Perry Hill, who just announced his retirement from the Florida Marlins' coaching staff. Deivi Cruz never played better than when Hill was coaching him up, wouldn't you say? Okay, maybe not.