So how'd you like to be the guy who follows the guy that just threw a no-hitter?
Justin Verlander: Pretty sweet, bro. Threw a no-hitter last night.
MM: Yeah... I know. I was there. I was charting pitches and stuff, since, you know, I'm pitching today.
JV: Oh, you're going today? Dude, I don't know if this will come up in the pitchers' meeting, so let me just tell you what I noticed yesterday.
MM: Okay, let me get a pen--
JV: They cannot hit the fastball at 102.
JV: Swing and miss every time, baby. High-five!
MM: [meekly high-fives] Yeah... uh, I don't... I don't throw as hard as you, Justin.
JV: You don't?
JV: Dude, that sucks. You should throw it that hard.
MM: Yeah, well... I like to keep the hitters off-balance by changing speeds, controlling both sides of the pl--
JV: Whatevs, bro. Sounds good. Oh, watch out for that Fielder kid. Dude has 23 home runs.
MM: Yeah, I know. I... wrote that down last night.
JV: Good luck with that off-balance thing. Hey, mix in some curveballs, too. Totally messes them up. I'll see you out there. [walks out of the clubhouse]
MM: Yeah, I'll... see you out there. Right.
And... scene. Ladies and Gentleman, the Bless You Boys Happy-Time Thespians!
Oh, I'm sure Maroth will do fine. Even though he's 0-2 at home this season with a 5.60 ERA.
Capuano hasn't won in his last six starts. He did, however, beat the Tigers last year in Milwaukee, allowing three runs in seven innings. But he's 2-3 on the road with a 5.70 ERA. Capuano is also left-handed, which means the Tigers' lineup is probably licking their lips in anticipation of fresh meat.
UPDATE: Chris Capuano was scratched from tonight's start just before game-time because of a strained left groin. Apparently, he suffered the injury while warming up. Carlos Villanueva (5-0, 3.00 in 42 innings) got the emergency start in place of Capuano.