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Patrick Arnold? Sheff's Never Seen Him

Soon after the news broke that Patrick Arnold, the creator of "the clear," said Gary Sheffield took a "bona fide" anabolic steroid, the Detroit Tigers' designated hitter said that he's never even seen Arnold before, doesn't know him, and wasn't even familiar with his name.

"I have never seen him, I don't even know his name," Sheffield said, alluding to Arnold a few hours before the Tigers met the White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field.

"He's a stranger to me.

"I have never seen this person in my life. I don't know him. He don't know me -- period."

Once again, Sheffield hasn't denied taking "the clear" while training with Barry Bonds (and being urged to hang out with Bonds by his agent at the time, Scott Boras). But he says that he didn't know it was an anabolic steroid. And there's no reason to think that Sheffield knew who had created the substance. I took a multivitamin this morning, and have no idea who created it. (Though the "One-A-Day" on the bottle provides a very strong clue.)

If Arnold persists in dropping Sheffield's name, however, maybe Sheff can try the Eddie Murphy "wasn't me" defense. If you're not familiar with this, here's a YouTube clip from Eddie Murphy Raw. (There's a little bit of salty language in there, if you need to know such things.) Or if you're into the reading thing, here's a transcript. (You'll have to do quite a bit of scrolling down to find it.)

The joke (true story?) is that Murphy had a friend who was caught coming out of another woman's house by his girlfriend. When she asked him what he was doing over there, all he said was "wasn't me." And that was enough to get him out of trouble.

The same thing could work for Sheffield if/when he talks to George Mitchell. If Mitchell asks him what he was doing at Barry Bonds' house, Sheff can just say, "Hey. Wasn't me." Could be worth a try.