I really hope this is the last time I'm reduced to posting images instead of words. (Unless, of course, you like this - you really, really like this.) But tonight may have been the most disappointing Sunday night of television since the screen went black for the series finale of The Sopranos.
Can we sum up Jeremy Bonderman's pitching effort in one image? Thanks to Hollywood, you bet your sweet Tiger paws we can.
Even the Rally Monkey can't look, man. Clearly, the "A" on the Angels' caps stands for "Armageddon." Cable documentaries about this series will be produced; I'm sure of it. If MSNBC, A&E, or the Discovery Channel want to give viewers nightmares for years to come, you'll be seeing a one-hour special about this some time soon. Maybe Stone Phillips will host it.
On a day when the pitching staff needed Jeremy Bonderman to go deep into a game, the Angels dropped an A-bomb on him. It was ugly. It was nasty. Women and children shouldn't be allowed to watch it. If I had a kid, I would've sent him upstairs. Bondo exploded like John Hurt in Alien, giving up 11 runs (10 earned) on nine hits in just 2 1/3 innings. You could safely call this his worst. start. ever. As Billfer pointed out, Bondo has never given up more than eight earned runs in a start.
Chad Durbin contined his Gasoline Man routine when he took over for Bondo, but in this case, he was essentially just shooting gas from a squirt gun onto a towering inferno. One run in 1 2/3 innings didn't matter much, other than in showing that he really can't be trusted right now. So no "Man on Fire" image for him today.
I'm not sure I can be hyperbolic enough. This series was a total disaster. Jim Leyland is surelyh working on his second carton of Marlboros as I write this, and I'm thinking of taking up smoking to join him. The Tigers need a day off in the worst way, but have to get right back on the bull and play the A's tomorrow night in Oakland. No pressure on you, Jordan Tata. You just have to try and stanch this bleeding. Go six innings and you'll be a hero.
UPDATE: Rock & Rye may have captured the repetitive pain of this weekend even better over at From the CoPa. Plus, his pictures move. Pretty.