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Sunday Slaughter: White Sox 11, Tigers 0

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If you stuck with this game past the fifth inning... man, you are one seriously devoted Detroit Tigers fan. (Or a certifiable masochist.) You should probably get a medal if you didn't turn the channel or decide to do something outside of the house after the third inning.

And I don't want to hear anything about not being true fans if we chose not to subject ourselves to the rest of that massacre. I enjoy going out with women, but if I was on a date with someone who insisted on jamming her knife underneath my fingernails every time I tried to say something, I would find something else to do. (And probably call the police.) I love pizza, but if I was served road-killed skunk and broken glass for toppings, I would eat someplace else. (And probably call the police. And the health department.)

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For the second straight Sunday, the White Sox demolished the Tigers. How does a combined score of 24-2 look to you? That's the first quarter of a Southern Cal-Eastern Michigan college football game. That shouldn't be the end result of two major league baseball games. Never mind that the team expected to be excellent was on the business end of that beatdown.

(Circle July 27 on your calendar, because you might want to plan on something else besides watching baseball. That's the next Sunday afternoon the Tigers will face the White Sox.)

Kenny Rogers wasn't getting anyone out from the start. Three of the first White Sox batters he faced reached base. In the third inning, he loaded the bases on two walks and a single. Then Paul Konerko smacked a ball just over the fence in left-center field. And I imagine that made golf suddenly seem like a preferable diversion on TV for the afternoon.

But if you thought Rogers was bad, Zach Miner might have redefined the word when he came into the game. After striking out Konerko, Miner served up a double, an intentional walk, allowed a run to score on a wild pitch, walked one more batter, and then served up the White Sox's second grand slam of the day to Joe Crede. It was enough to make you wish there was a mercy rule in effect.

Oh, by the way, the Tigers were also shut out for the second straight day. They've totaled eight hits over the last two games. Any hopes this lineup was starting to pull itself together was crushed like that Miner meatball Crede sent into the left field seats.

Bright side? Clay Rapada and his loopy lefty delivery pitched two hitless innings. Of course, he was essentially pitching to a B squad of White Sox hitters. Your glass is more than half full if you want to point to that as a positive. It would be, that is, if the Tigers hadn't essentially crushed that glass while your hand was still holding it.

You are hereby excused if you ended up watching gymnastics on NBC instead. The Man Card Committee has already issued waivers for Tigers fans. They know you need your strength to come back and watch this team tomorrow.