Dear ESPN,
Hey, how's it going? Busy weekend with all that NFL Draft coverage, eh? Boy, you guys sure are thorough with that stuff.
I know you're busy, so I'll try to get right to the point. Here in Detroit, we're thrilled whenever one of our teams gets some national spotlight. Especially when it's based on merit, as opposed to ridicule or tradition (such as with the Lions' Thanksgiving Day game).
So believe me, we're quite aware of what it means for our Detroit Tigers to play in the showcase game of the week on ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. It means the team is good. Or at least that much is expected of them.
But see, here's the thing: You're killing us. The last three times the Tigers have played on Sunday night, it hasn't gone well. Actually, it's gone quite badly. Terribly, even. One of the BYB Brigade even did some research to support that contention. I don't know if it's the ESPN banners hanging along the foul lines, some reflection from your cameras, the hypnotic power of K-Zone, or the voices of Jon Miller and Joe Morgan, but for whatever reason, the presence of your network has an consequence akin to Kryptonite's effect on Superman.
The other victims are Detroit's baseball fans. We have to watch this stuff. And it's really a bad way to go into the beginning of the week. Monday mornings are tough enough as it is. We don't want to hate ESPN, but this is beginning to make us feel like we have to resent you guys for the suffering you inflict upon us. Would you like to be constantly bludgeoned in the stomach with a sledgehammer? Of course not. Please, just consider that before you schedule future Sunday night telecasts.
I realize the Tigers and their fans need to accept some responsibility in this matter, as well. Maybe those Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are the best team in the American League right now, after taking two of three in both Boston and Detroit. We'll strongly mull that possibility over as we try to digest yet another Sunday night debacle.
Thank you for your time. I know you have plenty of post-NFL draft coverage to program over the next two weeks, so I'll let you go.
Sincerely,
Ian D. Casselberry and the community of Bless You Boys
P.S. Oh, and could you also stop subjecting us to Skip Bayless, cancel Around the Horn, and give us back the SportsCenter we all grew up with? Just thought I'd ask while I have your attention.