Here's all you need to know about tonight's charade of a baseball game. Nate Robertson gave up so many home runs in his 3 2/3 innings that there was a haze of smoke clouding up the field from all of the fireworks that the Rangers set off after a long ball from the home team.
After all the explosives set off following the five home runs that Robertson served up (Texas even hit back-to-back homers in consecutive innings), there was actually concern from players and umpires that they wouldn't be able to see. Think about that. But only for a little while, so you don't feel like kicking a small animal or child afterwards.
Nate's final line? Six runs (five home runs), eight hits, four walks. His performance may actually have exceeded my worst nightmares. And just the thought of the Tigers sending Robertson out there for five or six more starts this season, leaving pitch after pitch up in the middle of the plate, makes me want to... well, I think the last few seconds of this video says it perfectly.
The only highlight from tonight's game is that an excellent nickname was coined for Nate Robertson: "DesigNATEd for assignment." That is fine work.
Roll Call
As with Thundercat last night, the nickname made tonight's GameThread memorable. Unfortunately, Robertson's fireworks display ruined the fun awfully early.
Sparklers go to Rogo, dettigionswings'stons, wepri31, Jerkwheat, Zappatista, explosivo2k2, MackAveKurt, rook34, ThaWalrus9, Juskimo, Boney for enduring the misery as long as they could.