OK, someone out there -- and I don't know who you are, but I know you exist -- keeps tempting fate by asking the universe, "Can this get any worse for the Tigers?"
Yes. Yes it can. By losing three out of four to Chicago for instance. In Detroit. After having a chance to split the series because of an exciting ninth-inning comeback.
So do me a favor and stop asking. Let's try some positive thinking instead. "Can this get any better?"
Yes. Yes it can. It would be hard not to. The Tigers are now a rather pitiful 5-17 since the All-Star Break. And the big question I have is, "Wait, they've won five?" It sure doesn't feel like it. It feels like every time I look at the television the Tigers are losing again.
So when that's the cards you're dealt, it can't help but get better.
Any time now, please.
Detroit trailed 2-0 and 2-1 and 4-1 but managed to get some baserunners in the ninth inning off Bobby Jenks. The battled Ryan Raburn, who had gone 27 consecutive at bats without an extra-base hit and whose batting average is perilously close to the Mendoza line, came up to bat. He promptly deposited the ball beyond the center field fence to tie the game.
That was fun. Even more fun when Jose Valverde ate through the White Sox' lineup in 1-2-3 fashion in the 10th. Turns out that's where the fun ended. Mark Kotsay, the suddenly despicable slugger, tripled in a pair of runs off Valverde in the 11th.
Detroit got another two base runners on in the bottom of the 11th and -- lo' and behold! -- Raburn was back up. A daily double? No such luck. A groundout to second.
And just like that, the Tigers fell to nine games out of first place.
For any holdouts out there, the postseason hopes are over. I don't want to hear about the Minnesota Twins rallying from seven out in September or 10 out in August to win a division. They seem to play better when their star players get hurt. When challenged, the Tigers folds faster than an origami expert. I'd like to be more positive, but actions speak louder than words.
Oh crap. It's me.