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Brad Penny does himself no favors in loss to Royals

By Kurt Mensching
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Final - 9.20.2011 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Detroit Tigers 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 2 9 0
Kansas City Royals 1 0 0 6 2 0 0 1 X 10 16 2
WP: Luis Mendoza (1 - 0)
LP: Brad Penny (10 - 11)

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BOX

KEY STAT

Brad Penny's line: 7 runs, 10 hits, 2 walks, 4 innings.

KEY PLAY

Brad Penny's fiance stayed alive on Dancing With the Stars. Ian had to inform me of that part, because like the rest of you I was watching the Tigers and thinking of new versions of swear words.

KEY THOUGHTS

David says I should write a Mad Libs style recap. He overestimates my creativity by at least half. But we'll see what happens. I'm actually going to require you fill in your blanks before you get to see the story, just like the original concept. Hopefully you'll share yours in the comments. Here goes.

  1. action
  2. description of quality
  3. verb ending in -ing, preferably one involving slang for procreation
  4. a kid's game
  5. a meat
  6. onomatopoeia for a loud noise
  7. an animal
  8. a noun
  9. a different noun meaning the same
  10. body part
  11. an amount ending in -ing.

Headline: Brad Penny __1_ again.

Man, Brad Penny was __2__ today. He allowed seven runs in four innings of work, ___3__ his chances of making the playoff roster. When the Royals went up to the plate, they had to feel like they were playing ___4_, knowing that something good would happen with just a swing of the bat. Eric Hosmer, especially. Not only did he hit a solo __5__ off Penny in the first, he hit a 3-run _6__ off him in the fourth inning. Hosmer was a _7__ out there today.

Meanwhile, the Tigers' offense played like __8__. Royals starter Luis Mendoza entered the game with a 22.50 ERA, yet he made the Tigers look like __9__ for seven innings. It just makes me shake my __10__ .

Ah, but whatever. The Tigers are in the playoffs. This game actually means __11__ .

Now that you've seen how bad I am at this I bet you'll beg David to never bring up the idea again.

SERIOUS NOTE:

But Texas looks like it's going to win and cut the Tigers ALDS home field lead to zero. (Actually, the Tigers own the tie breaker, so I suppose you consider the lead as one. There's a lot to play for. Better win some game, Detroit.) If you don't have Game 1 tickets, #panicindetroit

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