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The Tigers off-season in review - limerick style

There once was a man from Nantucket...

Leon Halip

To keep up with the news takes ability
Modern players have so much mobility
trades, signings and such
don't impress all that much.
All the guys that WE add play "utility"

Our Skipper thought this was his chance
to retire his hot moonwalk dance
He cannot quite quit
He still gives a shit
but we won't see his hand down his pants

New Skip, ivy league educated
Has SABR fans all fascinated
with stats all thought through
What will this guy do?
libidos are now stimulated

Years so sweet they could rot tooth enamel
Two awards like the humps of a camel
Max Scherzer wins Cy
Miggy's MVP guy
to The Hall let's elect Alan Trammell

Fielder's contract was more than his worth
and payroll must come back to earth
to the Rangers went Prince
but our fans did not wince
Since the Tigers offloaded much girth

The Tigs came to terms with Don Kelly
Most fans thought this move was quite smelly
They brought back Coke too
Fans think these moves poo
like that season with Rod Marinelli

With Dave trades are mostly quite rosy
He almost could land Buster Posey.
Our hopes were quite high
Doug's more than "a guy"
but instead we got Steve Lombardozzi

Poor Dave all the fans want to chasten
so Dombrowski went out and got Nathan
Some pundits will say
Joe's too old and too gray
He's no longer a guy to put faith in

Rajai Davis brought on to platoon
He might steal thirty bases by June
It's cheap and it's smart
when two guys could start
Brad's brain will make all the chicks swoon

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