The Arbitary 30: BYB's Week 4 MLB power rankings

Welcome to the latest edition of The Arbitrary 30, Bless You Boys' weekly MLB Power Rankings! Please keep in mind The Arbitrary 30 is 25% serious, 75% poking fun at teams and 100% biased.

Ed.: last week's rankings are in parentheses.

1. Atlanta Braves (1): They have cooled off, 6-4 in their last ten. But they remained hot enough to sweep a doubleheader in Colorado played in ridiculous 23 degree weather. Hopefully warmer weather will cool the Braves off. It'll be in the 60's this weekend in Detroit.
2. Boston Red Sox (13): On a roll, 7-3 in their last ten. No snark for the BoSox after the week from Hell. I'll just say this, better the Red Sox win a few games than those Damn Yankees.
   
3. San Francisco Giants (2): After six years of suck, Barry Zito is pitching well (3-1, 3.42). What's the difference? According to Zito, he's found Jebus and guns, though I'm not sure in what order.
   
4. Texas Rangers (4): A.J. Pierzynski is 36 years old and still hitting the crap out of the ball, slugging .524. Satan and a soul have to be involved, somehow.
   
5. Colorado Rockies (12): Who leads the Rockies in home runs? Easy, Troy Tulowitzki, right? Wrong. Carlos Gonzalez? It's not CarGo. Hated ex-Twin Michael Cuddyer? God forbid. The answer? It's Dexter Fowler with seven. Never, ever would have guessed it.
   
6. St. Louis Cardinals (6): Winner of the April NL Cy Young award voting is Adam Wainwright, who is 4-1, 1.93 in 37 1/3 innings.
   
7. Oakland Athletics (5): Casper Wells continues his tour around the AL. In less than a month, he's gone from Seattle, to Toronto, and just this week was picked up by the A's. Wells fills the A's ex-Tiger on the roster requirement now that Scott Sizemore is out for the season with an ACL tear.
   
8. Washington Nationals (7): The preseason NL favorite Nationals are playing far worse than the supposedly overrated Tigers. They're 3-7 in their last ten, have lost three straight and are 10-10 on the season. Why isn't ESPN's resident baseball wonk David Schoenfield calling the Nationals overrated?
9. Detroit Tigers (3): Before we condemn Jose Valverde and the Tigers, let's just wait and see what happens. You don't want to sound like your typical sports talk radio host, do you? DO YOU?
10. Cincinnati Reds (9): Of the free agent signings this past off season, Torii Hunter is not the only one off to a great start. Having moved across the state of Ohio from Cleveland to Cincy, Shin-Soo Choo has a 1.149 OPS.
    
11. Milwaukee Brewers (27): Rocketed up the NL Central standings, now in second place thanks to winning nine straight. Keep in mind five of those wins were against the bottom feeding Cubs and Padres. Still, you can only play the schedule you're given and the Brew Crew have taken advantage.
12. Arizona Diamondbacks (8):The biggest news about the Diamondbacks this past week was a fan catching two home run balls in same game in New York. Not as well known is Paul Goldschmidt having a breakout season, making the D-Backs look smart for extending his contract this spring.
    
13. Minnesota Twins (28): Amazingly, the Twins have yet to extend manager Ron Gardenhire, who is in the final year of his deal. If he opted to test the waters this off season, there would be numerous teams for whom Gardenhire would be a managerial upgrade. I have a hard time believing he'll remain a lame-duck for long.
    
14. New York Yankees (10): Not a good week for the Evil Empire. Flags were flown at half mast after it was announced Derek Jeter would not return until the All-Star Break. Robinson Cano was caught up in MLB's Biogenesis web after an "associate" was linked to "documents." That will stand up in court. (rolls eyes)
15. Baltimore Orioles (11): In this week's top pitching prospects are never a sure thing department, Dylan Bundy has an appointment with Dr. James Andrews. That always ends well...
    
16. Kansas City Royals (15): Jeff Francoeur is out-hitting Mike Moustakas and out-slugging Eric Hosmer. No wonder the Royals traded Wil Myers and kept Frenchy!
17. Los Angeles Dodgers (14): Anyone who thinks the players make far too much money should know Frank McCourt, the former owner of the Dodgers who cried poor while running the franchise into the ground and alienated fans in the process. He then made a profit of $1.278 billion from the sale of the team. Remember people, pro sports team owners lie.
    
18. New York Mets (17): This week in small sample size: The Mets' best starting pitcher has been Matt Harvey (4-0, 0.93), who has made 14 career starts.
    
19. Tampa Bay Rays (18): Is the bloom off the rose? Or in this case, is the crooked baseball cap now straight? Fernando Rodney has allowed four earned runs in seven appearances this season after allowing five over 76 in 2012.
    
20. Philadelphia Phillies (19): This week in Delmon Young: In his first rehab start, playing right field against the Lakeland Flying Tigers, Young misplayed two of the seven fly balls hit to him. This is so going to end well.
21. Toronto Blue Jays (16): This is how bad of a start the Blue Jays have had. Melky Cabrera leads the team in batting average, hitting a mere .265. Catcher J.P. Arencibia, not sluggers Jose Bautista or Edwin Encarnacion, leads the Jays in power numbers.
22. Pittsburgh Pirates (20): Brandon Inge after being activated on Tuesday. "I've played a lot of positions over the course of my career. I just haven't played them all in the same season. That's going to be the biggest adjustment, but I feel I can make it. I always want to play. I always want to be in the lineup because baseball has been my life, but I'll make the adjustment and do whatever they need to help out." Now he's OK with being a super sub? Sure would have helped the Tigers back in the day...
23. Los Angeles Angels (23): Why would anyone believe the Angels "insulted" Josh Hamilton by moving him to fifth in the order? I think someone earning $125 million can handle a one spot demotion in the batting order. What a complete non-story.
    
24. Chicago White Sox (21): Bears repeating. Hawk Harrelson sucks.
25. Cleveland Indians (22): First half Ryan Raburn is in full effect, hitting .241/.333/.345. The cake Spring training is a lie.
26. Seattle Mariners (23): Think the Tigers have issues at short with Jhonny Peralta? How about this death not an option decision the Mariners just made? They benched .143 hitting Brendan Ryan for Robert Andino and his robust .163 average.
27. Chicago Cubs (26): We have our first "Vote of confidence" for 2013, Cubbies manager Dale Sveum on the receiving end. You know what that means. Dead manager walking.
28. San Diego Padres (30): Having served his eight game penance, there are reports Carlos Quentin spoke with Zack Greinke. I'm guessing conversation was short. "Hit me again Rain Man, and I'll break your other collarbone." At least Padres president and CEO Tom Garfinkel apologized for the Greinke "Rain Man" crack.
29. Houston Astros (24): The best Triple-A team on the planet! At least Carlos Pena and Rick Ankiel have a big league home.
    
30. Miami Marlins (29): The Marlins may not have the worst record (yet), but do have the worst team. It goes without question the Marlins also have the worst owner in Jeffrey Loria. Between being forced to pay for their over-the-top stadium and Loria slashing team salary to the bone, fans are staying away on general principle.