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The five stages of Phil Coke optioning grief

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Will you go down the path with me?

Anthony Gruppuso-USA TODAY Sport

After last night's game Phil Coke was optioned to Toledo. This is bad news. Very bad news.

I didn't take it well.

I went on a tweeting rampage.  It got so bad one person remarked:

Maybe Mr. Schnepp has a point. The five stages of grief, as hypothesized by the Kubler-Ross model, include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance.  Let's see if I hit on any of them.

1. Denial

Well Adam, you got me there.

Some denial makes sense here, right? Phil was a post-season hero last year. He has been a bit better as of late. According to Chris Iott's article, he hadn't allowed a walk since July 11. Phil Coke is FUN! HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU OPTION HIM!? I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

2. Anger

*side note, why is there so much children's literature about killing beloved animals?

Looks like sarcastic anger to me. HOW COULD YOU, YOU BASTARDS!!!!! AFTER ALL HE'S DONE FOR YOU!! INGRATES!!

3. Bargaining

Wow, some serious rationalization here. Look at Scherzer! I mean, if Phil just goes down to Toledo like Max did, then...  It would be just a couple minor league weeks in exchange for renewed grandeur! That sounds like a good deal, doesn't it!?

4. Depression

At this stage I go on a 4-5 tweet diatribe about how Phil is still great and this is just a bump in the road concluding with

Serious tweets are a pretty clear sign of depression. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to sit here on my couch in the dark and look at my unfolded laundry.

5. Acceptance