After last night's game Phil Coke was optioned to Toledo. This is bad news. Very bad news.
I didn't take it well.
I went on a tweeting rampage. It got so bad one person remarked:
Feel bad for @PhilCokesBrain, his timeline is like watching someone live tweet the 5 stages of grief— Adam Schnepp (@aeschnepp) August 21, 2013
Maybe Mr. Schnepp has a point. The five stages of grief, as hypothesized by the Kubler-Ross model, include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. Let's see if I hit on any of them.
No no no no no no no— PCB (@PhilCokesBrain) August 21, 2013
Well Adam, you got me there.
Some denial makes sense here, right? Phil was a post-season hero last year. He has been a bit better as of late. According to Chris Iott's article, he hadn't allowed a walk since July 11. Phil Coke is FUN! HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU OPTION HIM!? I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
"We're just going to take him for a nice ride out to the country" I've seen how this shit goes.— PCB (@PhilCokesBrain) August 21, 2013
*side note, why is there so much children's literature about killing beloved animals?
Yeah, sure...go ahead. Makes sense until you need a closer for the ALCS.— PCB (@PhilCokesBrain) August 21, 2013
*cocks head* *scowls*— PCB (@PhilCokesBrain) August 21, 2013
Looks like sarcastic anger to me. HOW COULD YOU, YOU BASTARDS!!!!! AFTER ALL HE'S DONE FOR YOU!! INGRATES!!
It's only two weeks in Toledo, how bad could it be? I mean, it's not like it's OHIO or something.— PCB (@PhilCokesBrain) August 21, 2013
Remember when Scherzer was sent to Toledo to work on his command?— PCB (@PhilCokesBrain) August 21, 2013
Wow, some serious rationalization here. Look at Scherzer! I mean, if Phil just goes down to Toledo like Max did, then... It would be just a couple minor league weeks in exchange for renewed grandeur! That sounds like a good deal, doesn't it!?
At this stage I go on a 4-5 tweet diatribe about how Phil is still great and this is just a bump in the road concluding with
</serious>— PCB (@PhilCokesBrain) August 21, 2013
Serious tweets are a pretty clear sign of depression. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to sit here on my couch in the dark and look at my unfolded laundry.
Hey, AAA is still really good. Especially if you are a bond or an egg.— PCB (@PhilCokesBrain) August 21, 2013