If you're of a certain vintage, you'll fondly remember the TV sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati. (I saw it in second-run syndication; I'm not, shall we say, "tenured" enough to have seen it when it was first aired.)
For those young'uns who have never seen the show, firstly, get off my lawn. Now that you're off my lawn, I can tell you it was a show filled with zany characters, and their day-to-day struggles with running a small radio station in a certain city along the banks of the Ohio.
As I was sitting here, Rogers Hornsby-like, staring out the window and waiting for spring, a thought struck me: What are the analogues of WKRP characters to people in the Detroit Tigers organization? If you think about it, a radio station is a lot like a baseball team... they both have records, there's some marketing involved, and I don't own one of either of them.
Let the comparing begin!
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Round 1: The Big Guy
Their job is to run the place. Carlson bumbles and fumbles around, and can't decide anything for himself. Dombrowski has already swindled three other MLB GMs out of their best players before you've even gotten out of bed.
Round 2: The Boots on the Ground
This one is seriously hard to call, folks. They're both good at their jobs despite strange circumstances, they know how to handle a team, and let's face it, they're both pretty easy on the eyes. But, I bet Travis can handle a bullpen better.
Round 3: Featured Talent
Dr. Johnny Fever
On the one hand, Fever's taste in music is immaculate; remember, his apparent love for disco was only a ruse so he could get on TV that one time. On the other hand, Cabrera is really, really good at baseball (although he displays a real talent for acting in trashy telenovelas).
Round 4: Men of Mystery
Flytrap kept his past under wraps because he deserted the US Army during 'Nam. Putkonen is mysterious because he's hardly ever used; he also has exactly one facial expression, which he wears at all times, and is featured in the above photo.
Advantage: Flytrap (specifically, his lapels/collar)
Round 5: Wildcard!
|Human Being Extraordinaire
Marlowe put up with Fever's incessant flirting, didn't take crap from anyone, and was the best damn receptionist of any AM radio station in the greater Cincinnati-Covington market. But oh my god look at that adorable picture of Kelly and his son!!! MAGNIFICENT.
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This list is far from exhaustive, for sure. (Next time: Bailey Quarters vs. Quintin Berry... and yes, I know Berry's no longer a Tiger, but I found it amusing that they have the same, albeit transposed, initials.) Will this post prompt debates, fuel fistfights, and have the continent buzzing by next week? Only time will tell.