Inspired by Joaquin on Sunshine, I had my super secret sources do some digging and they were able to uncover some totally real and not fake at all text message conversations from the actual phone of the actual Dave Dombrowski.* The following conversations took place on March 24, 2014 shortly after the phenom General Manager executed a blockbuster trade** to acquire Alex Gonzalez from the Baltimore Orioles.

*Texts may not be totally real and/or not fake at all.

**Trade may not actually qualify as a "blockbuster"