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MLB News: Everyone lost the trade!

Avisail Garcia is done for the year, Jim Johnson is no longer the closer, and Masahiro Tanaka is undefeated.

It's Friday, kids. Make sure to pack some chocolate milk in your sack lunch. Here's what's happening around MLB.

(Numbers next to team names are taken from Fangraphs and represent the team's percent chance of winning the World Series)

Oakland Athletics (6%)

Manager Bob Melvin is giving struggling closer Jim Johnson a break, choosing a "closer-by-committee" strategy that will utilize any one of multiple decent arms in their deep bullpen. Apparently that's a real thing and not just an urban legend.

New York Yankees (2%)

In three starts and 21 innings, Tanaka is undefeated with a 2.14 ERA, a 0.857 WHIP, and a K/9 rate of 11. And that's why you should do your pitcher scouting with the Microsoft Surface tablet. (I'll just wait here while Microsoft cuts me a hefty check.)

Texas Rangers (6%)

Prince Fielder has gone 0-for-4 in five of his nine starts this season, and Dave Dombrowski finally had to block Jon Daniels' number.

Toronto Blue Jays (2%)

Pulled ahead of the Tampa Bay Rays to claim possession of first place, so maybe this is Toronto's year! (It isn't.)

Miami Marlins (0%)

An MRI has confirmed that Jacob Turner has a right-shoulder strain, and no one can say when he'll be back. If Disney movies have taught us anything, though, he's going to have a 250 MPH fastball when he does return.

Chicago White Sox (0%)

ESPN tweets "Avisail Garcia of Chicago White Sox to have season-ending shoulder surgery," which seems kind of stupid - if they already know it's going to end his season, he should just not go.

Boston Red Sox (9%)

Jose Iglesias and Avisail Garcia have suffered season-ending injuries. Jake Peavy, having locked himself in a dark room, remains weeping in the fetal position, awaiting the inevitable.

Minnesota Twins (0%)

Their pitching staff has racked up an MLB-worst 6.35 ERA, but their offense has the second highest runs-per-game average, so their theory seems to be working: if you let other teams score a lot, they'll be nice and let your team score a lot too.

Detroit Tigers (12%)

Hey, what if Joe Nathan's arm isn't really dead, it's just sleeping because he has naturally bad circulation due to impending heart failure and wow that sentence didn't end up at all like I planned it.