Once the offseason really gets moving, it can be difficult to keep up with all of the rumors, sources, actual transactions, breaking news, fake Twitter accounts, ice cream flavors, Christmas lists, favorite music, and train of thought. The easiest way to sort it all out, as numerous studies have shown over and over again, is to take a hastily-constructed quiz cobbled together and played for laughs. Periodically throughout the offseason, these quizzes will be provided to help you stay on top of the latest Hot Stove news, or at least help you from becoming a football fan.
For the first quiz of the 2016 Hot Stove Season, we'll keep things easy and stick with Tigers-related topics. Ready? Good luck.
1. What kind of payroll are the Tigers working with this offseason?
a) Around $175 million, same as last year
b) Closer to the luxury tax threshold, around $189 million
c) Only $40-45 million, after you account for existing contracts and arbitration raises
d) I'm prepared to eat Hot-n-Ready pizzas every day for the next 50 years
2. What one area do the Tigers most need to fix for 2016?
a) The starting rotation
b) The bullpen
c) Left field
d) Fire Ausmus
3. Where will the Tigers finish in the AL Central in 2016?
a) A close second, with a Wild Card spot
b) A disappointing third place
c) Last place again
d) WITH A GOL-DANGED CHAMPIONSHIP PARADE DOWN WOODWARD AVENUE YOU FAITHLESS CRETIN!
4. What is the best way for the Tigers to improve their bullpen?
a) Build it from within, using homegrown talent
b) Pillage the free agent market and buy as many relievers as possible
c) Burn it to the ground and pretend it never existed
d) Fire Ausmus twice
5. Who should be the Tigers' closer in 2016?
a) Joakim Soria
b) Alex Wilson
c) Andrew Miller
d) Danny Worth
6. What will be Victor Martinez's biggest accomplishment next season?
a) Winning a batting title
b) Hitting 40-plus home runs
c) Protecting Miguel Cabrera in the lineup
d) Running the bases without the aid of a motorized vehicle
7. Should Al Avila do any business with Dave Dombrowski and the Red Sox this offseason?
b) HELL NO!
c) Seriously, Al, don't look into his eyes, they're ...
d) Too late. Cabrera, Verlander, and Kinsler to the Red Sox; Rick Porcello, Seymore Butts, and a bag of used baseballs to the Tigers
8. Who is the top free agent the Tigers should pursue at the Winter Meetings?
a) David Price
b) Alex Gordon
c) Brayan Pena
d) Nope, it's Brayan Pena
9. Who is the one free agent the Tigers should avoid signing?
a) Bartolo Colon
b) Chris Davis
c) Colby Rasmus
d) You forgot Delmon Young was a free agent, didn't you?
10. Who should the Tigers consider putting on the trade block?
a) Ian Kinsler
b) Jose Iglesias
c) Anibal Sanchez
d) Miguel Cabrera's 2015 hair cut
11. The Tigers' toughest competition in 2016 will be ... ?
How did you do?
a) Aced the quiz
b) I want to try again, but with 100% more beer this time
c) I thought this was going to be a real quiz
d) I didn't actually read any of this, but I'm going to leave a nasty comment on your Facebook page anyway