Miguel Cabrera managed to find himself in possession of the keys to Phillie Phanatic's ATV. (Why does the Phanatic need an ATV? We can only assume it's to get around his mobile-home park in Florida like everyone else.) Fifteen minutes of fun ensued.
He-e-e-e-re Phillie, Phillie, Phillie.
Too slow! Let's try fetch instead.
The Phanatic appealed for help, but found no luck there either.
Eventually the Phanatic gave up and fetched his own keys.