Lynn Henning or the Book of Ecclesiastes?

I have this weird love/hate relationship with Detroit News baseball writer Lynn Henning.

Hate:

• I think he's wrong a lot.
• He uses hyperbole like it's the best thing in the history of mankind.
• He gets fixated on something and will not let it go.
• He mixes a heaping helping of left-leaning politics into his twitter feed.
• He's got this flowery style that seems a bit archaic and pretentious.

Love:

• He makes a good foil. He's a counter-point to many things that seem obvious to me.
• I find his complete earnestness quite funny.
• He's distinctive. When you see a Henning tweet it's good for at least a hardy head shake.
• He's got this flowery style that seems a bit archaic and pretentious.

A bit more on the style.  I don't think he is trying to sound anachronistic, it's just a by-product of 1) trying to be interesting  2) the fact that he's old.

The best way I can describe it is that it sounds like it comes from the an old testament book of the Bible, namely, Ecclesiastes.

If you are unfamiliar with this book, it's a rambling discourse on the essence of life from the perspective of an old man, The Teacher. (Starting to sound familiar?)  The author looks at the whole human enterprise and drops his own brand of wisdom. It isn't until the very end that it's like, "oh yeah, God is most important", and this was likely added as an epilogue by later priests. Basically, The Teacher is gonna say what he wants to say, topic be damned.

So let's look at some quotes from Israel's Teacher and Detroit's Teacher and see if you can tell the difference.

1.

It's good to grasp the one and not let go of the other.

2.

it is done, not always in ways that are understandable

3.

Men are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them

4.

His autumn is turning dim

5.

...and the clouds return after the rain

6.

He has delivered them from the evil... when their hopes and nerves too often were shredded or subjected to cruelty

7.

So then, banish anxiety from your heart

8.

It is destitute. Barren. An absolute wasteland.

9.

More strength is needed but skill will bring success

10

sift through the good and the bad -- and then look at their wisdom

11.

You don't know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.

12.

...leaped like a leopard hunting down a wildebeest

13.

Don't pay attention to every word people say

14.

while being careful and quiet, because expectations can make life tough..., he had seen soul-stirring signs

15.

I said to myself, "Look, I have increased in wisdom more than anyone... I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge"

Ready for the answers?

All the even numbered quotes are from Lynn Henning all the odd numbered quotes are from the Book of Ecclesiastes. To be fair, I did redact a bit to make it more challenging, but you get the essence.

How did you score? Add up the number you got correct and then forget it. It's meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly Meaningless! Everything is meaningless!

And here ends this blog post. After all:

"The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?" Ecclesiates 6:11