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Twins 7, Tigers 1: Greene day doesn't rock for Tigers

Shane Greene was terrible Sunday afternoon, giving up seven runs in less than five innings. The Detroit offense only scored one run against Minnesota pitching, leading to a long day.

Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Shane Greene was pretty awful today, giving up five or more earned runs in his fifth straight start. His final line: seven runs in four and two thirds innings, while striking out just two and walking three. The offense was anemic save for a run-scoring groundout from Marc Krauss. Greene was terrorized by the bottom of the Twins lineup, especially Danny Santana (.534 OPS entering today) and Aaron Hicks (.701 OPS entering today). The Tigers' bullpen was pretty good, so that's always nice.

Instead of rehashing the gory details, let's see what BYB commenters managed to come up with in terms of Shane Greene puns and sad haikus.

Greene Puns

The grass may be Greener on the other side of the All Star Break


Twins take advantage of the Greene light special

-Verlanderful and ClevelandJames

It's not easy being Greene

-Tidizen and Designated for Assignment


Up and down down down

Down down down down down down down

We miss Max Scherzer


Greene pitched very bad

although we are not surprised

we hope for a change


Shane Green sucked today

The Tigers are going down



Oh, my dear Tigers

You are the Boys of Summer.

Please don't break our hearts.


Greene got shellacked

The Twins hit many dingers

Need starting pitching


Tigers need pitching

Cueto is avialable

Please go get him now

-Mason Lowry, voice of the Toledo Mudhens

All-Stars everywhere

And yet somehow we still suck

Alfredo Simon

-Brandon Day

Rob Rogacki Haikus

Tigers make me sad

Price, Verlander, Sanchez, rain

This rotation sucks

A haiku recap

Darkest of nights we see now

Things could not be worse

J.D. Martinez

Shines so bright amid rubble

Oh look, a dinger

Oh, Soria, why?

That pitch hasn't landed yet

RIP bullpen

You asked for haikus

So I am making haikus


Feel free to contribute in the comments. It's healthy to laugh off one's pain.