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Shane Greene was pretty awful today, giving up five or more earned runs in his fifth straight start. His final line: seven runs in four and two thirds innings, while striking out just two and walking three. The offense was anemic save for a run-scoring groundout from Marc Krauss. Greene was terrorized by the bottom of the Twins lineup, especially Danny Santana (.534 OPS entering today) and Aaron Hicks (.701 OPS entering today). The Tigers' bullpen was pretty good, so that's always nice.
Instead of rehashing the gory details, let's see what BYB commenters managed to come up with in terms of Shane Greene puns and sad haikus.
Greene Puns
The grass may be Greener on the other side of the All Star Break
-ClevelandJames
Twins take advantage of the Greene light special
-Verlanderful and ClevelandJames
It's not easy being Greene
-Tidizen and Designated for Assignment
Haikus
Up and down down down
Down down down down down down down
We miss Max Scherzer
-Jacob30
Greene pitched very bad
although we are not surprised
we hope for a change
-TimothyTheFirst
Shane Green sucked today
The Tigers are going down
OH YEAH? NO THEY'RE NOT!!
-AurelioFan
Oh, my dear Tigers
You are the Boys of Summer.
Please don't break our hearts.
-TigersFangirl
Greene got shellacked
The Twins hit many dingers
Need starting pitching
-ClevelandJames
Tigers need pitching
Cueto is avialable
Please go get him now
-Mason Lowry, voice of the Toledo Mudhens
All-Stars everywhere
And yet somehow we still suck
Alfredo Simon
-Brandon Day
Rob Rogacki Haikus
Tigers make me sad
Price, Verlander, Sanchez, rain
This rotation sucks
A haiku recap
Darkest of nights we see now
Things could not be worse
J.D. Martinez
Shines so bright amid rubble
Oh look, a dinger
Oh, Soria, why?
That pitch hasn't landed yet
RIP bullpen
You asked for haikus
So I am making haikus
Refrigerator
Feel free to contribute in the comments. It's healthy to laugh off one's pain.