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The Tigers beat the Florida Southern Mocs and you know you want to talk about it

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The Tigers won their first spring training game, which means nothing, but we're so happy to have baseball back that we've gotta talk about it!

Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports

The Tigers' first spring training game is complete, and the most important takeaway from the event is -- hands down -- the fact that we're now one game closer to the start of Official Baseball Season. Seriously, that's pretty much it as far as meaningful analysis goes, or should go.

It was a game against a college team, and the Tigers beat them 7-2, as they should have. The marquee players like Miguel Cabrera and Justin Upton got one at-bat and then went to go play Zork or something.

Ah, but I can hear you saying, in italicized uppercase, "THIS WAS A BIGGER DEAL THAN YOU'RE MAKING IT OUT TO BE! IT WAS A BASEBALL GAME AND WE HAVEN'T HAD BASEBALL IN MONTHS!"

You raise a very valid point, albeit a point I would have been more likely to take seriously if you'd also used some swears.

So there was a real baseball game, even if it was completely meaningless, and you're just dying to talk about it and get those dormant baseball synapses in the brain firing again. Let's just look at some highlights, then.

Kevin Ziomek only allowed one hit

Not too shabby for two innings of work, eh? Keep on eye on the kid throughout the rest of spring training. He might be going places.

Miguel Cabrera walked

That's cool, that's fine, that's patient Miggy at the plate. We'll just have to wait until tomorrow to satiate our ravenous hunger for the first Miggy-bomb of 2016.

Justin Upton struck out

Honestly, I am way more amused by this than I probably should be. First at-bat of the spring training season, and he gets K'd by a kid who probably spent the weekend cramming to finish an Ethics 204 writing assignment. Of course it doesn't mean anything, but it's still funny.

Dingers!

Both Austin Green and JaCoby Jones went yard in this game, and Jones' home run broke what was a tie ballgame in the seventh inning. I'm sure the crowd loved it. You might even say Jones really got the joint fired up. (Please don't say that, though, it's beneath you.)

Joe Jimenez, people, Joe Jimenez

I love this guy. He was so much fun to watch in West Michigan, and I'm really rooting for him to set the world on fire as he moves up through the organization. He did give up a home run to the first batter he faced, but then he remembered that he's Joe Jimenez and struck the next three guys out. "Big deal, man, they were college kids," you say, but I can't even hear you over the sound of my hopes and dreams.

Jairo Labourt was shaky

Actually, maybe "wild" is a better word. He walked two batters, threw a couple wild pitches, gave up a run. He also picked up a couple of strikeouts, though, so ...

/perpetual shrugging motion

So what did we learn? Baseball is back, baby, and that's all that matters for right now. The next game is on the radio, and the one after that is on Fox Sports Detroit. Life is good.