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This minor league team's plan to attract fans may shock you!

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I mean, if you are a person who gets stunned by obvious things a lot.

Eric Wayne

This may be an earthshaking surprise to you, but I never went to journalism school. Shoot, I barely made it through Freshman English. A passive sentence is not something that could be identified by me.

But when I was invited to the Whitecaps' food tasting event, I knew I needed a hook. I needed an angle to capture the reader's attention and wow them with my wit.

The event is very fun, but pretty straight-forward. The Tigers' Class A minor league affiliate hosts a number of food vendors and brokers to demonstrate their wares. The local media is invited to look at the options, vote on the best items, and share the mouth-watering images with the masses across Western Michigan.  The most popular and unique items will be featured at the ballpark this summer a long with some fan creations.

So, what should the headline be? "Minor League Baseball Team to Sell Fun Food" seemed a bit dry.  Therefore, I'm going to leave it up to you, the noble reader, to decide which headline and lede would be the most attractive to you. Here are some choices.

Exposé: Tigers Minor League Affiliate Threatens Community Health

Despite the known detrimental effects to human health, a local "family friendly" organization is planning to pump thousands of empty calories into the vulnerable local populous.

dessert

Processed Chicken Nugget Pulp Big Hit at Minor League Food Fair

New breakthroughs in food technology are causing a stir at area baseball-themed food show. It seems these food Dr. Frankensteins have found a way to turn chicken nugget pulp into chicken chips, jalapeno-infused sticks, and god knows what other unholy chicken-based chimeras.

list

Ice Cream Salesman Has Physique Appropriate to Career

In a move to sure to engender trust with clientele, regional ice cream distributor employs man who clearly knows his product.

Area Novelty Food Establishment to also Feature Baseball Games

While selling silly foods to sodium-hungry families is a time-tested tradition, a local stadium is trying something shocking; offering full, nine-inning baseball games with professional athletes all for the eater's entertainment.

dutch love

Local Media Celebrities Receive Free Items.  Is Ethics in Journalism Dead?

In a brazen act of bribery, local media today exchanged glowing reports about area business' offerings in exchange for a few morsels of sugar-stuffed edibles.

None of these appeal to you?

I guess I better check out that community-ed creative writing class.