When the Detroit Tigers signed Justin Upton, fans were promised a streaky hitter who bats for a decent average, draws walks, and hits a lot of home runs. Upton has endured a rough spring with the Tigers, hitting .198 with a .333 on-base percentage.
Fortunately, he broke out in a big way on Saturday against the Philadelphia Phillies. Unfortunately, he may have endangered a bartender or two in the process.
Now, before you question whether that possibly-flattened structure is actually a tiki bar, our interns (a.k.a. Kurt) found proof that our claims are correct.
It's possible that the Tigers land in Detroit before that ball does.