This year's presidential election is a watershed moment in American politics. Fundamental divides between policies and personalities promise to make this general election one of the most hotly contested in years. And honestly, it's turning into a bit of a tire fire. If you are like me, there simply isn't a candidate that you enthusiastically want to support.
So, it's time that we nominate a someone that everyone can behind. One that can unite this blog and beyond. It's time we nominate a Tiger.
Let's go through the possibilities. It's basically the same as "Who's your Tiger," except instead of buying their shirsey we are nominating them to lead the free world. Yeah, basically the same.
Platform: Strengthen the military
You want strong leadership? A real no BS approach? Ian is your guy. He's going to tell it like it is, critics be damned. That being said, he probably doesn't have the finesse to negotiate some of the more nuanced situations that will arise. And by probably, I mean there would be a lot of yelling and not a lot of results. So yeah... on second thought, we probably shouldn't nominate Ian Kinsler.
Platform: Foreign affairs
Widely known as one of the smartest baseball players of our generation, he basically has a photographic memory for pitchers. I assume that would be pretty helpful when navigating the various senators and representatives. The language thing might be a barrier, but his personality would over come it. I'm just not sure I want Miguel Cabrera in charge of my country. I still love you, Miggy.
Platform: Strong support of the second amendment
Chicks dig the long ball. And everyone loves an underdog story. From waived to All-Star, J.D. Martinez has the classic profile of a beat all the odds politician. That and a winning smile. And constantly carrying two tickets to the gun show. But he's too unassuming. Good for a baseball player, bad for the current political environment.
Platform: Enforced casual Friday
It would be interesting to watch a campaign completely based on absurd t-shirts and mandated dance breaks. But we are watching an election based on imaginary walls and fake sex scandals, so it might work?
Platform: Tax reduction
The charisma. The fastball. The extremely tight pants. Justin Verlander has that presidential appeal written all over him. Also, Kate Upton in the White House? Should be entertaining. That said, I don't think I want to give Verlander that kind of power. He's the ideal vice president though. Verlander would schmooze with the best of them.
Platform: "Hiring the best people"
He's currently being out-polled by Deez Nuts. Hard pass.
Platform: Universal healthcare
Clubhouse leader and agreeable guy overall. The quiet type who does it by example instead of loud talking points or flashy defensive plays.
Platform: Climate change and subsidized Patagonia jackets
He has already defeated cancer, I don't think an election is going to phase him. Want to make sure climate change is taken care of? I've got your candidate. Although that would be his only focus. He's basically Ralph Nader. Let's pick someone else and install him as secretary of the Interior.
Platform: Strong central government and military
In just two short years, McCann has taken hold of the catcher position and become a leader in the clubhouse. Could he carry that momentum through a meteoric rise to the presidency? Why not? He's the all-American boy from California with a cannon for an arm. You know he is going to call out anyone in politics for lack of hustle.
Platform: Repealing the cigarette tax
I don't know why I just profiled half the lineup. The answer is Jim Leyland.