I am the foremost purveyor of the responses “Time for you to get a watch” and “Hi hungry, I’m Patrick.” Yes, I still have friends. No, I don’t think they actually like me.
Anyway, in honor of the dad joke craft, I would like to present you with a very good tweet:
I'm sure some would be... "Stumpf'd" if he didn't make it. #dadjoke #lame #StillLaughingThough https://t.co/HUK8D1bVF7— Justin Verlander (@JustinVerlander) January 17, 2017
Dad jokes are judged upon how hard of an eye roll they merit. That is 9.5/10. The fact that he is extremely proud of it only adds to the effect. And while I love terrible jokes, this underlines why we need baseball back. Otherwise, he’s going to keep tweeting stuff like this until he is less bored.