MtorCityCat's MLB Rankings

I loved all the fan posts on this subject and really enjoyed reading them, so I thought I'd play along. (Spoiler alert! Although I usually come across as a lovable everyman Tiger homer, there is a lot a rage bubbling just below the surface, as you are about to find out.) Now in descending order, lets start with the worst of the Rogue's Gallery

30) The NY effing Yankees. I'm old, and have had to endure a TON of George "the boss" Steinbrenner. Seinfeld parody aside, he was the most boorish, self loving a-hole to ever come out of New York. He was handed a fortune by his daddy but told everyone he made himself rich. (remind you of anyone else that is the news constantly these days?) and bought his way to multiple WS rings. All this made possible because he was handed an incredible advantage of local TV revenue that no other team could touch. Add in creeps like Reggie Jackson & A-Roid, and that little punk Brett Gardner and his dirty take out slide that ended Carlos Guillen's career and it puts a nice, tidy little bow on the whole "why I hate the Yankees" package. Bonus hate: Insufferable Yankee fans that seem to be everywhere and their stupid NY accents. Also, Derek Jeter is not fit to hold Alan Trammel's jock strap yet he will be first ballot HOF. Disgusting. The fact that the Tigers own their sorry asses does not get to lift them out of the cellar, sorry biatches.

29) White Sox. CRAM IT HAWK, only you can take something as beautiful as baseball and make it unwatchable. Plus you need an armed guard to wear an opponents t-shirt if taking the train to their shitty ballpark.

28) Angels. Jared Weaver is the biggest ass clown to ever wear any uniform ever. He makes Chris Sale look like an Eagle Scout. Halo Heaven is the worst site on SB Nation, and it's not close. The Tigers somehow can't win there. Three strikes...

27) Indians. I admire people that can cheer for another team in the division if the Tigers are out of the playoffs. That whole AL Central pride thing. I just can't do it. 19 head to head games each year can provide a lot not to like. Any team that keeps the Tigers out of the playoffs earns a big helping of "you suck, and so does your city and your fans."

26) Royals. Stupid BBQ sauce, stupid praying mantis, stupid Ned Yost. nuff said.

25) Red Sox. Mostly because of their hipster fans and their accent that in no way resembles english. So they had a great farm, and then Dombrowski happened. Goodbye prospects, hello luxury tax! Also, Roger Clemmens AND Curt Shilling? Good Lord.

24) Blue Jays. Joey bats makes me throw up in my mouth a little every time I see his stupid face and goofy beard thing. That classless bat flip/throw/heave still pisses me off.

23) Rangers. Nelson Cruz HR nightmares, when will they stop!

22) Giants. Big Panda HR nightmares, when will they stop!

21) Nationals. Sorry DC, your team is too new and you don't deserve rewards yet. You have Mad Max, be happy with that.

20) Braves. Boring racists, Chop this mother f&%*#kers.

19) Phillies. More a reflection of their bonehead fans than the team itself. Couldn't stand Mike Schmitt or Steve Carlton and I'm not sure why.

18) Marlins. Owner is a giant douche and they have won 2 WS since we won our last won in '84. I don't like that. But on the upside, thanks for the Miggy!

17) Brewers. Basically ambivalent. However, Packer fans annoy me to no end so these guys have to suffer the consequences. Love me some old school Henry Aaron, Ryan (PED) Braun not so much. The Hebrew Hammer is no Hank Greenberg.

16) Rockies. Hate John Elway and the Broncos sooooo...If we could trade Nicky C and Peyton's kid for Nolan Arenado then I will move them up a little.

15) Rays. Still too new. And why take the Devil out? That was the only cool thing about this franchise. Also dark stadium looks just plain awful.

14) Astros. Don't like Texas, still. Do like their 1970's uniforms though

13) Padres. Like the old Logo with the chunky priest swinging the heavy lumber. Plus 1984!

12) Athletics. Thought the Swingin' A's of the early 70's were pretty cool. Vida freaking Blue was just awesome. Dudes on that team had some smoking afros.

11) Diamondbacks. Sure they beat the Yanks in the WS, and Luis Gonzalez was a big part of it!

10) Dodgers. Hate to admit I kinda like these guys. Really would like to see Puig in the olde English D

9) Cardinals. '06 sucked, the better team lost (I blame the layoff!) but it's hard to hate an organization that does everything right, like forever.

8) Cubs. Loveable losers blah, blah, blah. What, they won the whole thing last year? Now I gotta start all over. To hell with it, i'll leave them here because of Harry Carey and Bill Murray.

7) Mets. Tom Seaver was a god when I was 12. Plus a 2 Tiger outfield. Plus that '69 team puts them solidly in the top 10

6) Pirates. If Jim Leyland still loves them then that's good enough for me. Willy "Pops" Stargell was way cool, and I still tear up at the thought of what Roberto could have done if it hadn't been for that damn plane.

5) Mariners. Young Ken Griffey Jr and that Sweeeet swing. And that amazing range, and his HR stealing, wall climbing antics. The Big Unit just destroying batters confidence. Not sure how they never won anything.

4) Orioles. Another throwback to my youth were the early 70's O's. From that incredible pitching staff to Brooks at the hot corner to Earl Weaver going crazy on the umps, that team was fun to watch, and they owned the Yankees for a good 5 years

3) Twins. Please don't hate me. I have lived in the Twin Cities for 20 years now and Target Field is a baseball palace. I can hate game 163 but I can't hate this team. They are usually a 12 to 14 win gift in the Tigers win column every year, and I get to see 9-10 Tiger games a year without having to leave town.

2) Reds. THE. BIG. RED. MACHINE. Greatest collection of baseball talent of my lifetime. Plus I love Dat Dude, is that wrong?

1) The Detroit Tigers. Greatest uniform ever. Al Kaline, Mickey Lolich, Mickey Stanley, Tram, Sweet Lou, Higgy, Jack Morris (ef you HOF) Cecil, Magglio, Carlos, JV, Miggy etc etc etc. What's not to LOVE!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of the <em>Bless You Boys</em> writing staff.