When Jose Altuve looked into the camera and whispered sweet nothings to Justin Verlander, the internet listened. This includes our friends over at BreakingT, who decided to immortalize Altuve’s poetic words on their latest t-shirt.
Now sure, this shirt may technically be celebrating Verlander’s postseason success with the Houston Astros and not our beloved Detroit Tigers, but who cares? The two teams share the same colors — coincidence? I think not! — and we loved Verlander far before Altuve, the city of Houston, or even Kate Upton, for that matter.
You can click the handy link here to get your hands on this amazing shirt. Ashley already has one — or will, once the mailman finds her igloo way up there in Canada — and it’s sure to be the nicest and most comfortable article of clothing you will ever wear. It will also give you Verlander’s 80-grade stubble*, add an extra five to seven miles per hour on your fastball in the eighth inning*, and make Todd Frazier do this anytime he sees you wearing it.
Verlander just sent Todd Frazier back to t-ball pic.twitter.com/CMwAU85lTE— Ozzie (@OzzieStern) October 21, 2017
And if you’re feeling extra frisky? There’s one for Altuve too.
*Our lawyers told us we had to say “No, it won’t.” The Frazier part is true, though.