FanPost

Tigers letters to Santa, 2018 edition

Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

Well, it's that time of year again and the mail box at the North Pole is overflowing with letters from all over the world. Let's take a peek at some of those letters with a Detroit postmark, shall we?


Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can top last year's gift, getting me back on the bench as a big-league skipper. I was thinking it was never gonna happen, but then you whispered in the right ear and here I am again. And I have to tell ya, it started out pretty fun! I was given about 20 bums and one Miggy but somehow we made things interesting for a while. Then things...unraveled a bit and by August it wasn't any fun at all! We have more holes on this roster that a pasta strainer, but Chis and Al tell me to be patient and they will give me a real big-league club in the not too distant future, whatever the hell that means. Not that I don't trust those two (I really don't), but if you could arrange for a decent backstop to come to Detroit that would be great. Also, maybe one of those "just for men" beard dye things, since people are mistaking me for you these days and I don't have a bag of toys to hand out!

Your pal,
Gardy


Hiya Santa, hope things are good at the North Pole. I'm happy to report that I'm pretty much a regular in Detroit now. It's weird, I was a kick ass shortstop my whole life and then BOOM, I'm traded to the Tigers a couple years ago and now I'm a center fielder, go figure. But I'm having a great time and I LOVE the cool big league clubhouse and big league pay, and I sure don't miss the bus rides, but if I don't bump up my OBP I'm gonna be out on my ass in no time. if you could leave some pitch recognition under the tree then I think I can keep traveling by plane for the next dozen years. Thanks Santa, I'll be leaving the Pepperidge Farms cookies that I know you love cuz now I can afford them! Love, JaCoby


Dear Santa,

What can I say, things have been getting better for me year after year. For the longest time I was the little kid around here and now I'm the savvy veteran! I've been waiting for this forever but now that I'm here, it kinda sucks. The team is a mess and almost all the cool guys have left town and now I'm stuck here. Also, defensive metrics are stupid! All I want for Christmas is a trade to a contender (Oh, and maybe a new glove. The one I have doesn't work for shit).

Thanks Santa, you're the best.

Nicky C.


Hi Santa,

I guess it's that time of year again, and for me 2018 was a lot like 2017, and 2016 and 20-- well, you get the picture. Felt great in February and things just went downhill from there. I work my ass off, take good care of myself eat all the right things and I'm still more fragile that a Fabergé egg. I mean WTF! Love the hub caps for the VW Bus that I got last year, but this year I would like a Sony α9 camera. Also, if you could leave some stamina in my stocking this year that would be awesome!

Your friend,
Dan


Hello Mr. Claus,

I don't want to be too much of a burden, but I need so much that I will run out of ink before I get to the end of the list. So I'll try something different this year. Do you think you could get the real Mr. I to show up at Chris' house and rattle a few chains, scare the hell out of him and tell the cheap bastard to open his damn wallet and give this city a team to be proud of again? That punk never worked a day in his life, sits on a mountain of money that his dad made and won't spend a dime of it! And to top if off, who takes the heat on every sports blog in Detroit? ME, that's who. I look like a jackass every time some sports writer asks me about payroll and I'm sick of it! Anyway, sorry to be such a pain in the ass, I know you want to see the Tigers hoist the trophy too, so I'll get back to work stocking the farm and hope for the best.

Regards,
Al Avila


So there you have it, kids. If you found any other letters to Santa from the Detroit area please post them in the comments section. Merry Christmas everyone, and I hope we all get a trophy from Santa very soon!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of the <em>Bless You Boys</em> writing staff.