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Mike Fiers has a mustache now, and it’s terrible

It’s really bad. Like, really, really bad.

MLB: Spring Training-Detroit Tigers at Toronto Blue Jays Butch Dill-USA TODAY Sports

There is a longstanding history of baseball players sporting some questionable facial hair. Perhaps it is this proliferation of upper lip fuzz that led the New York Yankees to decree a ban on facial hair of any kind (RIP Jacoby Ellsbury’s beautiful Red Sox playoff beard). We like to mock the Yanks for their facial hair hatred, but upon seeing Mike Fiers’s new mustache, we’re starting to think they might be on to something.

Here’s a friendly reminder of what Fiers looked like when he started spring training last month:

MLB: Detroit Tigers-Media Day Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports

That’s a nice, respectable beard. It’s a little fuzzier than the “Justin Verlander Permanent 5 o’clock Shadow” and a little less Teen Wolf than a mid-season Alex Avila. Quality 6/10 beard.

Here’s what Mike Fiers looked like this week:

MLB: Spring Training-Detroit Tigers at Toronto Blue Jays Butch Dill-USA TODAY Sports

And another view of it live and in action in case that wasn’t enough. (Also, side note, those orange hats aren’t helping this look at all.)

Look familiar?

He’s apparently also trying out a new vegan diet, but we think he might have gotten confused and thought having a beard was cruel to animals somehow. Whereas, having that mustache is just cruel to everyone who has to look at it.

Sorry, Mike, but it’s bad. Really, really bad.

What do you think?


Is this the worst mustache in Detroit Tigers history?

This poll is closed

  • 22%
    (94 votes)
  • 28%
    Obviously yes
    (117 votes)
  • 49%
    No, I’m shaving my own beard tomorrow to match
    (206 votes)
417 votes total Vote Now