Orioles 5, Tigers 0: O-No! Baltimore shuts down Tigers offense

Mike Fiers and the Detroit Tigers took the field in Baltimore tonight but the offense neglected to make the trip, as Chris Tillman and the Orioles bullpen dominated the Tigers holing them to just, hang on [squints] one hit? Just one [redacted] hit?? [Editor’s note: it’s really for the best we cut that.]

[Peter note: Ehh everyone is watching the NLF draft anyway.]

So yeah hopefully you got your sports fill salivating over which college dropout will football hardest for your team next year, cause there was no quality sportsing to be seen from the Tigers tonight.

Well I suppose Mike Fiers was decent. He gave up a solo home run to Manny Machado in the bottom of the first but that was Machado’s ninth dinger on the year and its not even May yet. He made it though the fourth looking pretty darn good and almost got though the fifth before he gave up another solo shot. He should have gotten out of the sixth unscathed but with a runner on second, a groundball headed to center bounced off second base and went over everyone’s head into shallow right where no one was playing. The run scored easily.

The Johnny Barbato era got off to a disastrous start in the bottom of the seventh innings, as he allowed a single and then a towering home run to dead center to the first two batters he faced. He would escape further damage in the seventh but the eighth went much the same way, when he allowed a lead-off single, that turned into a double on a wild pitch, and then an RBI single to the first two batters. Ouch.

The only “highlight” of the night for the Tigers offense was a double from Jose Iglesias in the fifth to break up a potential no hitter from a pitcher who entered the game with an ERA of 9.72.

That’s all there is to say about this one. That’s your [redacted] recap, fitting of the Tigers [redacted] game tonight [Editor’s note: PETER!]. Go watch the football auction thingy.

It would end up being a 22 inning streak...