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Angels 13, Tigers 0: If only it had been rained out

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Forget ‘Angels in the Outfield,’ they were aiming for the seats today.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v Detroit Tigers Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

Literally nothing went well for the Tigers in this game, so let’s talk about everything the Angels did inning by inning.

Inning One

Shohei Ohtani got his first hit since returning this series from his Tommy John surgery rehab. He drove in David Fletcher for the first run of the game. Hard to be mad at him for finding success so quickly after returning.

Andrelton Simmons grounded into a double play, scoring Mike Trout.

Inning Two

Zack Cozart scored Kole Calhoun, then Tommy La Stella hit a home run to score himself and Kevan Smith. Side note, Mr. and Mrs. Smith: Kevan?

The Tigers DID manage a pretty stellar moment in this inning with this Harold Castro catch.

Inning Three

Albert Pujols hit a solo home run, which was also his 2000th RBI making him one of only three players in MLB history to have 600 home runs, 2000 RBIs, and 3000 hits (the other two are Hank Aaron and Alex Rodriguez)

Inning Four

We spend a solid 5 minutes interview the guy who caught the 2000th RBI. He had really curly hair.

Inning Five

The end of Ryan Carpenter’s day. 5.0 innings pitched, 8 hits, 6 earned runs, one walk, two strike outs, on 80 pitches. In other words: bad.

Inning Six

Calhoun hit a solo home run, showing that Zac Reininger might not be having any better a day than Ryan Carpenter.

Inning Seven

Tommy La Stella hit another home run. Cool, cool, cool.

Mike Trout hit a sac fly to score Fletcher, and frankly now this is just amusing.

Inning Eight

I want to take a moment here to talk about Harold Castro, who made that incredible play early in the game. He also managed to be the only Tigers player with two hits in today’s game. With Harrison out for the time being, Castro is certainly not a bad option filling in there, if we use today’s game as our metric.

Cozart doubled to score Calhoun, La Stella grounded out to score Smith, and Goodwin singled to score Cozart, so if you’re keeping track at home, Eduardo Jimenez: also not great today.

Inning Nine

I could not make this up: a pinch-hitting Justin Bour got a solo home run off of new pitcher Reed Garrett, and I would like whoever in the Tigers clubhouse that stole an amulet from an angry witch to return it to her immediately, because this is ridiculous.

In case you are wondering: no, the Tigers did not score in this inning either.